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TRYING TOO HARD
Recently I pulled out of a streak of depression
that I think was due to lack of creative ideas and financial pressure.
I kept forcing myself to go to the piano or guitar
and forcing myself to try to write a song.
I felt guilty when it didn't work.
I'm supposed to be a writer. Isn't that who I am?
Have I lost it?
I even took the recommended therapeutic walks,
but it seemed as if I was trying too hard to enjoy it,
consciously looking at trees, sky, etc..
"Great sky. Nice tree. Is this working?"
Again... forcing it.
It was my businesslike left brain fully in charge
and beating the hell out of me.
One morning I got up and told Misty this:
"I've had it! I'm going to stop torturing myself."
I stayed away from the music room
and just did whatever I felt like doing.
I actually got happy!
A night or two later I got a surprise urge to play the keyboard,
and did it without trying to produce a masterpiece.
With no self-pressure and no guilt it was more like fun.
A couple of ideas came to me out of the blue.
I wrote them down for later.
Today I feel okay.
I may play a little music tonight.
You never know what might happen
when you're not trying to make it happen.
Jack Blanchard
Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/jackandmisty.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jackandmisty
Billboard Duet of the Year, Grammy Nominees, and CMA Finalists.
Home Page: http://www.jackandmisty.net
© Jack Blanchard, 2020
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